#john shelby headcannon

• You’re somehow both the female version of John and also the antiJohn 
  
• you meet in the most random of ways
• he has a one night stand and you’re her roommate 
• he probably notices your looks first, but you offer him a snarky comment and he’s absolutely both attacked and impressed
• “you know most people are scared shitless of me”
  
• “doesn’t make you any less of a pussy, John”
  
• his brothers LOVE you for this sheer reason 
• you’re the only person who can leave him utterly speechless 
• you’re his wingman 
• always going out for ‘one’ and ending up out all night with him
• he always brings you back to one of the shelby houses, much to the annoyance of whoever else resides in that home
• polly meets you when she comes down to her living room one morning to find you and john in fits of giggles trying to shush each other and unsuccessfully hide behind her sofa 
• she grows to love you though, and she thinks you’re perfect for john 
• so does ada
• they both desperately want you together
• they can see the fun side you bring out in john
• John might seem like the ‘fun’ shelby, but he’s still haunted by his past and has dark thoughts just as Tommy and Arthur do
• he can share that with you too
• crying with him when drunk and you telling each other about your whole lives in a back alley after being chucked out of a club 
• partners in crime; quite literally sometimes
• you love each other, in the deepest way possible 
• you’ve always got each others back 
• he drives you mental 
• but he’s the one person you know you can call at 3 am when you can’t sleep because you watched a horror movie and you know he will drop everything just to come over 
• his Facebook profile picture is one of you and him
• people definitely think you’re dating ALL THE TIME
• he’s the one you send funny memes too
• you force him to make a tiktok so you can send him videos on there too and he ends up learning renegade 
• its in his drafts, but you’ve definitely seen it and you’re not even sure if its just ironic anymore
• you dont know it, but he has a picture of you in his wallet  
• you set a mug picture of you as his wallpaper and he never changed it
• your mum loves him, she’s glad you’re not dating him though 
• your dad is DEFINITELY glad of this too
•   you fight like cat and dog 
• i can imagine you have some pretty explosive arguments too 
• you’re both such passionate people, you’re gonna clash on some things but you’re also both stubborn as donkeys 
• Polly is the peace keeper
• “its like watching you argue with yourself John”
  
• always making up
• he may be a bad boy, but he knows when to apologise 
• big cuddler
• at the end of the day, John knows you’re on of the best things that ever happened to him and he loves you with his whole heart
• he’s still annoying as fuck though 

Alrighty then, so I’m not gonna lie out of the whole show i definitely sleep on John the most? i don’t know why though because the mans a SALT and just an all round geezer. Anyway, i hope you enjoy! 

John: 

• he sees you out somewhere 
  
• like if you work in a cafe or bakery or something 
• tries to slip you his number because he’s a slick boy 
• and i feel like at first maybe you’re not interested because like
• he’s a Shelby you know so, angst 
• or maybe you’re just playing hard to get you know 
• so he just comes back everyday 
• same time, day in, day out
• it doesn’t take long for his jokes to get to you and you start to come round to the idea of going on a date with him
• ‘does this mean you’ll stop harassing me in my place of work?’
  
• ‘no promises, love’

• he’s literally always smiling when he’s with you
• even when youre not there and he’s just thinking about you 
• bragging to his brothers about how he’s pulled the best bird in all of Birmingham 
• Arthur and Tommy taking bets on whether you exist or not because  they are still get to see real proof of you being a real person
• because he never takes you round the peakys
• tries to keep you away from all that business as long as possible
• you think its because youre just some bit on the side and he doesn’t want to introduce you to his family 
• he’s actually scared of you finding out what he’s really like
• not that he would ever admit he’s scared of anything 
• he knows you are too good for him and he doesn’t want you to run away and find someone better
• because baby boy feels b l e s s e d
• and John has some ‘baggage’ - as he would see it
• he 100% knows his brothers will say something to screw it up too
• and if not them then a drunken Ada or Polly
•  you probably have had enough of all his secrecy one night and have a go 
• “youre just better than that love, you deserve more than that and i don’t want to lose you because I’m selfish”
  
• he probably takes a lot of reassuring that he’s good enough for you
• even then i don’t think he will ever actually believe that he actually deservessomeone who he sees as so special 
• hes also probably very nervous of introducing you to his kids
• that a whole lot
• i feel like he’d avoid telling you about therefor as long as possible
• not because he’s ashamed but he’s worried its too much for you
• when he does tell you he makes a massive thing of it and youre just like
• okay?
• a man youve only been seeing for like a few weeks has kids? not partially earth shattering news
• you want to meet them but understand that it should wait so they don’t get confused 
• understanding way he’s so secretive about his personal life and feeling blessed when he feels comfortable enough to share information with you
• you open up to him a lot too, because who doesn’t have past  
• he grows to not hate feeling vulnerable around you, but he probably never enjoys it 
• he wants to still be big bad John, but he also wants to show you all the little bits of his life he’s never wanted to share with someone before 
• so one night when youre out on some fancy date in some expensive restaurant 
• and Johns wearing his best shirt or the  only one without some blood stainage somewhere  visible
• you can’t ignore how out of place he looks anymore
• ‘take me somewhere you loved as a kid’
  
• and instead of arguing he takes you up the cut
• tells you about all the fun him and his brothers had round here before the war
• sitting in under the stars with him there and getting mud on your fancy clothes
• Johns a hopeless romantic okay 
• he knows right then and there he’s going to make you his wife
• him introducing you to Tommy and Arthur first 

• right in the deep end tbh 
• Arthur is just surprised you actually exist tbh
• and mad he’s lost a tenner 
• them telling you all about the stupid shit he’s done 
• laughing so much with them your whole tummy literally aches 
• then its Polly and Ada - which is what youre most nervous for
• they love you straight away though
• you are the ying to Johns yang and they can see how you bounce of each other and they very much approve 
• Adas inviting you round to hers for some proper one on one girl time 
• Pollys probably planning her outfit for the wedding 
• she’s also planning your dress
• i feel like all the brothers would just forget to formally introduce you to Finn
• like you’d just meet him at some point anyway they just don’t think to introduce him properly 
• like poor Finn honestly
• You meet his kids lads and i feel like John has some sleepless nights about this
• because like yer you might likekids but are you ready to be a mother?
• they love you straight away
• you love them
• when he finally gets them off you long enough for you to leave they won’t stop asking when youre coming back 
• kinda pissed that they seem to love you more than him
• him never keeping you away from his family again
• keeps you out of the business side of things 
• all he wants to do is protect you 
• moving to the country with him
• you tell him about how when you were little you used to dream of living in the country and riding unicorns 
• so he just goes out and buys you a horse
• “John why is there a horse in the garden?”
  
• “well i couldn’t find any unicorns”
  
• (insert John smirk here)
• riding with him on summer nights
• waking up to the kids in the bed with you 
• John loves seeing you all snuggled up with them
• makes it impossible for him to leave the bed
• he’s never known love like this
• he met his first wife when they were young and everything was so fast and new
• and then after losing her he was a bit of a player
• never settling for any one girl
• but now all he wants is to come home to you forever. 
• he marries you a soon as you will let him
• its a BIG wedding like his whole family is there and so are yours and all the kids friends 
• he still can’t believe he managed to make someone like you his and he wants everyone to see it happen
• he cries when he sees you coming down the aisle 
• like UGLY cries and everyones shocked
• including you 
• Arthur is gasping for air because he’s laughing at him so hard
• he just loves you so much and seeing you in your white dress and flowers in your hair is just all a bit too much for him OKAY
• he will never live this down though, his brothers make sure of that

Okay so lets get a bit smuttyyyyy

• just want to get this out the way but 
  
• johns got a big dick okay 
• i dont make the rules 
• anyway
• hes deffo got a breeding kink 
• wants you to have loads of his babies 
• deffo very sexually attracted to pregnant you 
• he just loves the whole idea of it 
• other than that i don’t think he’s that kinky 
• maybe sex at work - like in the office 
• but its more just because he literally love shaving sex with you, he doesn’t care about the time or place 
• hes not more turned on because he’s in the office 
• it just is what it is 
• big giver
• loves going down on you 
• he just loves the power of making you squirm you know 
• probably a bit of a teaser 
• and love being teased 
• although he’s quite crass i feel like he’s good at hiding how turned on he is in public
• like if youre deliberately trying to get him hard
• he won’t let it show that youre getting under his skin
• but when you get home 
• oh boy 
• good luck to you 
• hope you don’t have to walk anywhere the next day 
• hes definitely loud when he  can be
• at home he’s used to holding it all in because the kids are in the next room
• but like when you guys are away in a hotel or something everyone on that floor hears way more than they would like too
• your first Christmas together you go to Tommy’s for dinner and end up drinking late into the night and staying over
• nobody can look at you the same the next morning 
• and now theres a yearly argument over who has to sleep in the room closest to yours and Johns